2 yr "SURGIVERSARY" and catching up...

My 2 year Weight Loss Surgiversary was 1/7/10. I had my 2 year follow up on 2/2/10. I originally lost 110 lbs in 11 months and have maintained the weight loss for 16 months now! My blood work, vitamin levels & protein levels were FABULOUS! My Dr. said I am doing great! I hope to be able to maintain the weight loss long term! I've said it before and I will say it again..."Weight Loss Surgery is the best gift I ever gave myself"!


Dec 2009 - we moved into a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment that I like to call "the ghetto". Our house may have been old and "white trash", but our apartment just takes that up a notch! The are so many unique features to it...like the toilets that lean to one side, the shower that turns on when you try to run a bath, the cabinets that are hanging by a thread in the kitchen, the putrid "sewer" smell that seems to permiate within the walls, the heater that runs 24/7 but mostly blows cool air, the list goes on and on...


On a side note, Yes, I am thankful we have a roof over our head and that we can afford it (barely). We didn't realize the boys would be coming home for good when we rented it or we might have looked for something bigger...although we probably couldn't have afforded anything else. For now, Tessa shares a room with us, which isn't much different from when we lived at my sister's, Colton sleeps in Tessa's room, the boys clothes and belongings are in Tessa's room & Tyler sleeps on the couch...good times I'm tellin' ya...good times! I finally re-arranged some things yesterday to make better use of some wasted space so that Tessa had better access to some of her things that had been in the bedroom the boys now occupy.


We desperate wanted Colton to stay in SG at Tuacahn, it really is the best school for him. Due to some health issues my mom had and the fact that having 2 teenage boys was more than I think she thought it would be, we decided it was best to bring him home. He is back at his old Middle School, which he hates. He is there on a permit since we no longer live in that area. He has already been in trouble for being argumentative & not completing assignments. He was given until midterm, first week of March, to get grades up and he can't be sent to the office anymore or they will revoke his permit. He did get a few of his grades up and is working on the others so they have allowed him to stay...for now. I got a call last week that he was sent to the office for leaving class without permission (the class was going from the library back to the classroom and he detoured to the restroom). I know Colton can be very difficult but the only referrals he has had to the office are all from the same teacher, I can't help but wonder if she has it out for him. The Vice Principal that called me last week said that most likely they will revoke his permit at the end of the quarter. If that happens, I will come UNHINGED! The only option at that point will be to put him in the middle school where we live now for the last 2 monts of this school year AND I doubt that will even be worth it. Then I'm sure that JHS will not take him on a permit for High School next year since he will be labeled a "naughty kid"!


Colton is not a bad kid, neither is Tyler for that matter, they just have their own way of doing things or thinking things should be done. That isn't necesarily bad, it's just hard to deal with sometimes. In the world we live in after we graduate from HS, people are thought highly of when they can "think outside the box". As much as my kids have been taught to respect authority, we also don't believe in stifling their creativity and we want to give them the chance to discover for themselves who they really are, not to live the way other people "expect" them to.

Colton lives very much in the now and gets caught up in the moment and doesn't think ahead to what the consequences may be (we had this confirmed for us by a highly respected brain doctor last year. He is very opinionated, but argues because he wants to convince you to see it the way he sees it, which can be VERY frustrating. He is getting better at realizing that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and he needs to respect that.


Tyler on the other hand is so afraid of rejection, being embarrassed and being told NO, that it seriously hinders any attempts he makes to get a job or do much of anything in life right now. He would rather apply online, which is fine, but then he doesn't follow up because he doesn't want to "bug" people. I understand this, I was much the same way when I was younger, but I'm sure that getting my first job at 14 years old helped squash some of that. When I think back to where I thought Tyler would be at this point in his life, I NEVER imagined the changes that would take place in him during his last year of high school. He seems lost and we do our best to help guide him but again, he HAS to figure things out for himself. I think we have been very patient, even though it's very frustrating and heartbreaking to watch. Tyler is not one to tell us his feelings or thoughts & confronting him goes absolutely no where so we wait & hope & pray that he finds his way soon.


It's unfortunate when people feel the need to tell us how they would handle things if it were "their" kids or give us advice we did not ask for, especially when they don't have children as old as ours or they have no children at all. People can say they would "kick their kids out" or "cut them off" but could they really? Did they have their lifes all figured out when they were 18 and 14? I know I sure didn't!


Do you turn your back on your oldest because he has been diagnosed as bi-polar but is old enough not to take his meds or see a counselor if he doesn't want to and is struggling to figure out who he is and who he wants to be? Do you turn your back on your middle child, who was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 8 and struggles so hard to learn that school is pure torture for him? Do you turn your back on them because they make choices that you don't agree with? Or do you allow them to continue on their own path, even if you have to watch them stumble but you know that in the end who and what they become is up to them?


I ask myself everyday "where did we go wrong"...there is no answer to that question for any parent. Did we spoil our kids, give them too much, give in too often, not set enough rules? Maybe. Do we continue to support them, even when they do things we don't agree with? Yes because we LOVE them, faults, mistakes and all. Would they be better off if we had raised them in the church? Maybe...who really knows???? What I do know is the past is the past, there is no guarantee for the future and all we can do is live each day to the best of our ability. I strive to do that and to be thankful everyday for what I DO have.


I know I'm rambling...as usual my mind is filled with so much! Thank goodness my blog doesn't have many followers...LOL, it's more a journal for myself than anything. My heart is often very heavy because I feel that at this age things should feel more secure in life. These are tough times for so many and I know there are many out there worse off than us. On the other hand I often find myself asking why there are others that have so much, when we have so little. Why does it seem that we have had more than our fair share of struggles, especially the past 2 years, while others don't seem to struggle at all? When I get these thoughts, I immediately feel guilty for not being content with what I do have. My mind never stops going in circles around these things, it's very frustrating some times. I AM very blessed with so much, a wonderful supporive husband who loves me unconditionally, healthy children, good job, great family and friends. I am indeed blessed.


I do have some worrisome health news regarding myself, which I will write about seperately since this post has become so long. Going to relax with my sweet Rio and beautiful Tessa. Love to you all and hope life is treating you well.