I'm going to get a little more personal on my blog by talking more about me and my life and my family and not just about my weight loss journey.
I posted my 2 week follow up picture today...you can't really see alot of difference in the pre and post surgery photos even though I had lost 20 lbs. I need a new photographer because I look AWFUL in both pictures!
I HATE having my picture taken and I really haven't let anyone take pictures of me for years! Besides...I'm always the one taking the pictures of my family, etc. But I really do need to take a picture every few weeks so in a year I can look back and see my progress!
I have been taking appetite suppressants the past 2 days to help curb my intense hunger. They are pretty mild but they do help a little. I was up late last night and I didn't get up this morning to walk on the treadmill so I'll have to double up tomorrow morning or at least do double this weekend.
I'm reading a book right now called "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Now"...it's about deciding what you do and don't want out of life and visualizing it and making it happen. This is along the same lines as the Experience Training that Rio and I attended in December. I need to work harder at getting in touch with my positive energy to help get me where I want to be. I am not a very creative person so visualizing is really difficult for me. There are some aspects of life that I haven't figured out what I want yet (work!). I desire to do work that I love but I just don't know what that is right now...pretty sad when you're 36 and don't know what you want for a career.
I do know that I want to be a good mother and wife. My husband loves me so unconditionally; which even 15 years later is hard for me to accept sometimes because I know I'm hard to live with! Rio is the most wonderful caring, loving, giving person I have ever known in my life and I love him dearly.
I know that I have failed my children in alot of ways and if I could do it all over again I'd do it differently (doesn't every parent say that?). I have failed to teach my children to work for and earn the things they want/need; instead I have given them everything they want so that they do not appreciate what they have! They are good kids, but they don't have respect for our home or their possessions because everything has been handed to them.
My wonderful friend Michelle (who lost 100 lbs all on her own!) came by last night. She is the person that got Rio and I to attend the Experience Training. As she and I were catching up she made a good point to "remember at the end of the day to think about the things you are grateful for". Sometimes I forget that and I need to get better at being grateful instead of focusing on the negative things.
So, today I am grateful for all the support I have received and am still receiving from family, friends, co-workers and all the people on the RMAP website who help answer questions and assure me that this journey does get easier!
Live in the NOW!
1/31/08
1/30/08
My picture
I posted my picture on my blog today. The picture isn't a very good one but it's the one that was taken on the morning of my surgery.
I will post a better one soon...but this is a good one for me to look back on 6 months down the road when I've lost all my weight!
I will post a better one soon...but this is a good one for me to look back on 6 months down the road when I've lost all my weight!
Still hungry...
I lost 4 more lbs...27 lbs lost so far...only 83 lbs to go to hit my goal weight!
I started back to work on Monday and it was exhausting. But I'm getting back into the routine and the swing of things. I have been getting up (past 2 days) at 5:00 am to walk on the treadmill...it's the only time of day that I actually have time to do it; which means I've been going to bed at 9:00 pm each night! I've been sleeping better the past few days so that's a good thing!
My hunger has not subsided with going back to work; I thought it might since I would be busier than I was while at home and wouldn't have as much time to focus on food. I called the Dr. yesterday and asked I could take an appetite suppresant. The nurse said it won't hurt my pouch but they don't recommend it; I asked why; she said "because the are not a diet clinic". I will have to talk to my Internist and see if she will prescribe something for me. In the meantime I found some appetite suppressants I had from when I was doing the MD Diet weight loss thing so I am taking those to help curb my hunger.
I'm pretty disappointed that after taking out a loan and paying $17,000 for surgery, it's not suppressing my appetite like it does for most patients. I've been told that that can change but the fact that I started feeling VERY hungry 10 days after surgery is devestating to me...to say the least! I do feel "satisfied" when I eat but I'm hungry 30 minutes later! I don't know what to do! I've been through all the "reasons" (head hunger, old habits, etc.) but I have tried everything that has been suggested and I still feel hungry!
BUT...inspite of the trials, I WILL make this work for me! I choose this path and I now have the tools to reach my goal!
I found out today that a friend of mine had a Tummy Tuck 2 months ago and I had no idea! She sent me "before and after" photos and I can not wait to have a tummy tuck too!
YOUR LIFE IS NOW...live in the moment!
I started back to work on Monday and it was exhausting. But I'm getting back into the routine and the swing of things. I have been getting up (past 2 days) at 5:00 am to walk on the treadmill...it's the only time of day that I actually have time to do it; which means I've been going to bed at 9:00 pm each night! I've been sleeping better the past few days so that's a good thing!
My hunger has not subsided with going back to work; I thought it might since I would be busier than I was while at home and wouldn't have as much time to focus on food. I called the Dr. yesterday and asked I could take an appetite suppresant. The nurse said it won't hurt my pouch but they don't recommend it; I asked why; she said "because the are not a diet clinic". I will have to talk to my Internist and see if she will prescribe something for me. In the meantime I found some appetite suppressants I had from when I was doing the MD Diet weight loss thing so I am taking those to help curb my hunger.
I'm pretty disappointed that after taking out a loan and paying $17,000 for surgery, it's not suppressing my appetite like it does for most patients. I've been told that that can change but the fact that I started feeling VERY hungry 10 days after surgery is devestating to me...to say the least! I do feel "satisfied" when I eat but I'm hungry 30 minutes later! I don't know what to do! I've been through all the "reasons" (head hunger, old habits, etc.) but I have tried everything that has been suggested and I still feel hungry!
BUT...inspite of the trials, I WILL make this work for me! I choose this path and I now have the tools to reach my goal!
I found out today that a friend of mine had a Tummy Tuck 2 months ago and I had no idea! She sent me "before and after" photos and I can not wait to have a tummy tuck too!
YOUR LIFE IS NOW...live in the moment!
1/27/08
Not losing fast enough for me...
237 lbs. (down -23 lbs)!
I am struggling with not losing weight fast enough! I got stuck at -20 lbs for about a week so I stepped up my exercise a bit and I lost 3 more lbs over the past few days. I have been walking a mile on my treadmill each day consistently for the past 5 days so I hope that gets everything rolling again. I try not to attach so much importance to how fast I am losing but it's hard not to! Someone on the website lost 21 lbs in the first week...I'm jealous! I shouldn't be! I should concentrate my efforts on MY success instead of what others are doing.
I had to go to weighing myself only once a week or I will drive myself nuts!
Tomorrow I go back to work. I'm still battling the hunger so I hope going to work will aleviate some of that since I will be busier than I have been while at home.
I'm not sleeping well for some reason (I guess this is common) but it's effecting everything else because I'm tired! I probably need to go back to using my CPAP machine but I've never been very consistant with it and I have a hard time sleeping flat on my back. My hips have been bothering me too so it's a lose/lose situation right now. I'm a mess!
All in all I'm doing pretty well. I'm trying to stay positive but it's difficult some days. I've figured out that the only way to imcorporate walking into my weekdays/work days is to do it early in the morning; before work; 4:30 am or so. I will start that tomorrow and hope I can make it work. I'll probably have to start going to bed at 8:00 pm.
I had really hoped to lose more than -23 lbs by the time I went back to work but I am happy that I have lost the 23!
STAY POSITIVE
FOOD IS FUEL!!!!
SIP,SIP,SIP,WALK,WALK,WALK!!!
I am struggling with not losing weight fast enough! I got stuck at -20 lbs for about a week so I stepped up my exercise a bit and I lost 3 more lbs over the past few days. I have been walking a mile on my treadmill each day consistently for the past 5 days so I hope that gets everything rolling again. I try not to attach so much importance to how fast I am losing but it's hard not to! Someone on the website lost 21 lbs in the first week...I'm jealous! I shouldn't be! I should concentrate my efforts on MY success instead of what others are doing.
I had to go to weighing myself only once a week or I will drive myself nuts!
Tomorrow I go back to work. I'm still battling the hunger so I hope going to work will aleviate some of that since I will be busier than I have been while at home.
I'm not sleeping well for some reason (I guess this is common) but it's effecting everything else because I'm tired! I probably need to go back to using my CPAP machine but I've never been very consistant with it and I have a hard time sleeping flat on my back. My hips have been bothering me too so it's a lose/lose situation right now. I'm a mess!
All in all I'm doing pretty well. I'm trying to stay positive but it's difficult some days. I've figured out that the only way to imcorporate walking into my weekdays/work days is to do it early in the morning; before work; 4:30 am or so. I will start that tomorrow and hope I can make it work. I'll probably have to start going to bed at 8:00 pm.
I had really hoped to lose more than -23 lbs by the time I went back to work but I am happy that I have lost the 23!
STAY POSITIVE
FOOD IS FUEL!!!!
SIP,SIP,SIP,WALK,WALK,WALK!!!
1/17/08 Thursday
I'm HUNGRY!!! I feel like my 3 meals a day isn't enough! Is it real hunger or head hunger???
I was pretty nauseated, exhausted and had diahrea for the past week. On Tuesday I called the Dr. office and talked to the nurse. They prescribed something for the nausea. They had me take some Immodium AD for the loose bowels and they told me to drink V8 to get potassium to get my electrolytes up. Today is the first day since surgery that I have felt decent.
BUT...I don't feel SATISFIED when I eat. I get hungry every few hours but I don't know if it's real or all in my head! I'm worried that there is something wrong with my pouch - maybe when I was dry heaving so hard in the hospital after surgery I blew out a stitch or staple or something in my pouch. I'll have to ask at my 2 week follow up next week.
I was pretty nauseated, exhausted and had diahrea for the past week. On Tuesday I called the Dr. office and talked to the nurse. They prescribed something for the nausea. They had me take some Immodium AD for the loose bowels and they told me to drink V8 to get potassium to get my electrolytes up. Today is the first day since surgery that I have felt decent.
BUT...I don't feel SATISFIED when I eat. I get hungry every few hours but I don't know if it's real or all in my head! I'm worried that there is something wrong with my pouch - maybe when I was dry heaving so hard in the hospital after surgery I blew out a stitch or staple or something in my pouch. I'll have to ask at my 2 week follow up next week.
1/13/08 Sunday
242 lbs (down -18 lbs)!
Started "solid" foods today (deli meat, tuna, canned veggies, etc.). I'm struggling a little - feeling a little bit sick.
I'm exhausted and I'm not doing all the walking that I should be. It's hard to feel tired and ill all the time. Did I do the right thing? Did I make a mistake? I'm trying to keep my spirits up but I'm not donig a very good job! I need to get working on my mental health in regards to my physical health.
Have I made life worse for myself????
Started "solid" foods today (deli meat, tuna, canned veggies, etc.). I'm struggling a little - feeling a little bit sick.
I'm exhausted and I'm not doing all the walking that I should be. It's hard to feel tired and ill all the time. Did I do the right thing? Did I make a mistake? I'm trying to keep my spirits up but I'm not donig a very good job! I need to get working on my mental health in regards to my physical health.
Have I made life worse for myself????
I want / I don't want
- I don't want to fail
- I dont' want to live in fear
- I don't want to work where I work
- I dont' want my husband to ever stop loving me
- I don't want to be fat
- I don't want my kids to fail
- I don't want to be a bad mother/wife
- I want to be successful
- I want to be a good mother/wife
- I want to be healthy
- I want my kids to succeed
- I want my family to be healthy
- I want to find work that I love
1/19/08
1/11/08
1/11/08 Friday
251.6 lbs. (down -9.4 lbs)!
NAUSEA! NAUSEA! NAUSEA!
Smells make me nauseous; I'm really sensitive to smells right now. Putting anything in my mouth; food, medication, even drinking water; makes me nauseous! I sincerely hope this goes away soon, I hate feeling this way!
Mom is going home tomorrow - it's been great having her here...I will miss her. The boys and Rio will probably miss her the most since she's made dinner every night she's been here...something they aren't used to! :0)
I'm already struggling with whether I made the right decision...I didn't expect to doubt my decision so soon. I KNOW I made the right choice! I need to get myself back in the right frame of mind.
251.6 lbs. (down -9.4 lbs)!
NAUSEA! NAUSEA! NAUSEA!
Smells make me nauseous; I'm really sensitive to smells right now. Putting anything in my mouth; food, medication, even drinking water; makes me nauseous! I sincerely hope this goes away soon, I hate feeling this way!
Mom is going home tomorrow - it's been great having her here...I will miss her. The boys and Rio will probably miss her the most since she's made dinner every night she's been here...something they aren't used to! :0)
I'm already struggling with whether I made the right decision...I didn't expect to doubt my decision so soon. I KNOW I made the right choice! I need to get myself back in the right frame of mind.
- Align Chakra's
- Get desires in check
- Adjust attitude
I need to start walking more - get more exercise into my day...
Post-op...
1/10/08 Thursday
Surgery went well but as is normal for me I reacted badly to the anesthesia and the pain meds. I spent Tuesday retching & dry heaving after trying to get up that morning to do my walking (they want you to walk alot to prevent blood clots). I spent an extra night in the hospital so they could monitor me; try different meds and wait until I could sip 2 oz. of water per hour. I arrived home Wed. afternoon.
I've been "eating" broth and jello & can start on other soft foods tomorrow (yogurt, cottage cheese, etc.). I don't feel hungry at all but sometimes smells bother me a little; especially food. Mom cooks dinner & it smells wonderful & then it makes me nauseated.
I need to work up to drinking more water and walking more. It's hard to walk & drink water when all I want to do is sleep.
This morning I weighed 255.2 lbs (down -4.8 lbs)!
Note to self: take measurments (hips, thighs, waist, etc.)
Surgery went well but as is normal for me I reacted badly to the anesthesia and the pain meds. I spent Tuesday retching & dry heaving after trying to get up that morning to do my walking (they want you to walk alot to prevent blood clots). I spent an extra night in the hospital so they could monitor me; try different meds and wait until I could sip 2 oz. of water per hour. I arrived home Wed. afternoon.
I've been "eating" broth and jello & can start on other soft foods tomorrow (yogurt, cottage cheese, etc.). I don't feel hungry at all but sometimes smells bother me a little; especially food. Mom cooks dinner & it smells wonderful & then it makes me nauseated.
I need to work up to drinking more water and walking more. It's hard to walk & drink water when all I want to do is sleep.
This morning I weighed 255.2 lbs (down -4.8 lbs)!
Note to self: take measurments (hips, thighs, waist, etc.)
Pre-surgery jitters...
1/6/08
A few pre-surgery jitters...not too bad though...mostly excited!
Glad I didn't eat much today so the laxative part wasn't too bad tonight. Gotta love the bowel prep!! :-)
Mom arrived on Friday; it's nice to have her here. She will stay a week & most likely take better care of my family than I do.
I hope & pray that all goes well tomorrow & there are no complications. I desire that so much.
I am expected at the hospital at 10:45 am tomorrow morning; I expect surgery will be around noon. I go into surgery at 5'8" and 260 lbs!
One year from tomorrow (Jan. 7, 2009) my goal is to have lost 110 lbs and be at my goal weight of 150 lbs.
I am excited, nervous & anxious to start this new journey; this new life.
A few pre-surgery jitters...not too bad though...mostly excited!
Glad I didn't eat much today so the laxative part wasn't too bad tonight. Gotta love the bowel prep!! :-)
Mom arrived on Friday; it's nice to have her here. She will stay a week & most likely take better care of my family than I do.
I hope & pray that all goes well tomorrow & there are no complications. I desire that so much.
I am expected at the hospital at 10:45 am tomorrow morning; I expect surgery will be around noon. I go into surgery at 5'8" and 260 lbs!
One year from tomorrow (Jan. 7, 2009) my goal is to have lost 110 lbs and be at my goal weight of 150 lbs.
I am excited, nervous & anxious to start this new journey; this new life.
Surgery in 2 days...
1/5/08 - Saturday
My surgery is in 2 days! Excited & Scared! Alot of changes coming my way. Gastric Bypass isn't just about losing weight; it's about everything in my life changing.
My desire is that surgery will go well & there won't be any complications. This surgery is a gift & I intend to do everything in my power to stick to the plan; NO CHEATING; so I can lose weight & be healthy.
My surgery is in 2 days! Excited & Scared! Alot of changes coming my way. Gastric Bypass isn't just about losing weight; it's about everything in my life changing.
My desire is that surgery will go well & there won't be any complications. This surgery is a gift & I intend to do everything in my power to stick to the plan; NO CHEATING; so I can lose weight & be healthy.
- I desire good health
- I desire good sleep
- I desire no back pain
- I desire to run & play with my daughter
- I desire to walk up the stairs w/out getting winded
- I desire no more pain in my body
- I desire so many things that it's impossible to put them all down...most of all
- I DESIRE to love myself & be happy!!
About me...
Let me introduce myself...my name is Margo; I'm 36 years old; wife to Rio (almost 15 years); mother to Tyler (16), Colton (12) & Tessa (4). I work full time as an Exec Asst at a Telecommunications/Software company.
I decided to do this blog as a way to keep a journal of my experience through Weight Loss Surgery and beyond. It's easier to type it than to write it all out. My first few posts will be actual journal entries that I have writtten over the past few weeks since my journey started.
If these posts can serve a purpose for someone else that's wonderful; if not; they serve a purpose for me.
I decided to do this blog as a way to keep a journal of my experience through Weight Loss Surgery and beyond. It's easier to type it than to write it all out. My first few posts will be actual journal entries that I have writtten over the past few weeks since my journey started.
If these posts can serve a purpose for someone else that's wonderful; if not; they serve a purpose for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)