Tyler has been accepted to Dixie State College...that is IF he graduates from high school! Love that boy to death but he is on a very unsteady road at this point in his life. He will be 18 in a few weeks...do we intervene & try to make him see the "error of his ways" or do we let him suffer the consequences of his choices?
Hardest job in the world...being a parent! We had a long talk with Tyler last night about everything that has been going on including his grades, attendance issues & naughty behavior. He has a "reason" or an "excuse" for everything. And the "naughty" things well they are really "that bad"...so he thinks. We gave him 30 days to clean it all up or we will send him to SG to finish high school or possibly some kind of treatment.
Oh the pain, agony, worry, indecision, stress, guessing, wondering, wishing, hoping...the issues with both our boys are really taking their toll on us.
We gave Colton the same option a few days ago...30 days to get it together or we will send him to a treatment/live in school facility for the next year. Do we want to send our kids away? Hell NO! Is it the right choice...who knows??? We are in agony over this!
We love them, we dislike their behavior. We want the best for them always...do they understand that? I remember being that age and hating my parents...I don't want my children to hate me...BUT...better for them to hate me now than to let them continue down the path they are on.
Here's to hoping things improve soon...*SIGH*...
3/19/09
3/5/09
Happy Birthday to ME...
It's my birthday...I'm not posting my weight loss today...Happy Birthday to self! LOL
I am THIRTY EIGHT years old today...man oh man! I wanted to post a picture of me as a baby and then a more recent picture BUT...I forgot to bring my zip drive with me today...oh well...another time!
Tessa is SOOOO EXCITED that it is my birthday. She said this morning "Mom, it's your birthday today...are we having a party?" I explained that having a party isn't such a big deal when you get older. A little while later she said "Mom, how about we go bowling for your birthday!" (She loves bowling)...LOL!!!!
I arrived at work to find my desk decorated in white & green balloons and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY sign with Tinkerbell on it and confetti stars all over my desk...so much fun! I have great friends at work. Since the other AM's work from home they send me an E card and a GC that I can use anywhere...I chose STARBUCKS!!!!
Rio came and took me to lunch and then about an hour later I received flowers at work from my sister! Gorgeous flowers to add to the decorations on my desk!
Rio and I are a little financially strapped so I told him to please not buy anything. He wanted to get me something so I sent him to get me some Slim Fast bars, propel, gum and Peanut Butter M&M's...haha. And he gave me the most beautiful card...he can always pick the great ones that say all the right things...I am so lucky to have him!
So no big b-day plans, had to work today, hopefully can just relax tonight, maybe a family party this weekend.
One year older, far less wiser...Happy Birthday to me!
I am THIRTY EIGHT years old today...man oh man! I wanted to post a picture of me as a baby and then a more recent picture BUT...I forgot to bring my zip drive with me today...oh well...another time!
Tessa is SOOOO EXCITED that it is my birthday. She said this morning "Mom, it's your birthday today...are we having a party?" I explained that having a party isn't such a big deal when you get older. A little while later she said "Mom, how about we go bowling for your birthday!" (She loves bowling)...LOL!!!!
I arrived at work to find my desk decorated in white & green balloons and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY sign with Tinkerbell on it and confetti stars all over my desk...so much fun! I have great friends at work. Since the other AM's work from home they send me an E card and a GC that I can use anywhere...I chose STARBUCKS!!!!
Rio came and took me to lunch and then about an hour later I received flowers at work from my sister! Gorgeous flowers to add to the decorations on my desk!
Rio and I are a little financially strapped so I told him to please not buy anything. He wanted to get me something so I sent him to get me some Slim Fast bars, propel, gum and Peanut Butter M&M's...haha. And he gave me the most beautiful card...he can always pick the great ones that say all the right things...I am so lucky to have him!
So no big b-day plans, had to work today, hopefully can just relax tonight, maybe a family party this weekend.
One year older, far less wiser...Happy Birthday to me!
3/3/09
Kids...
115 lbs lost; 5 lbs BELOW goal weight...it's all the stress that is keeping me below goal weight right now! LOL! Still need to tone up...still need to find the time & the energy to tone up! *SIGH*
TESSA
Me: "How come I love you so much?" Tessa: "Cause I'm a cutie pie"
Yep...I guess that says it all!
She is excited for me to have my birthday this week...so sweet. She went into her room last night & brought me one of her "diamonds" (she has a big collection of fake "diamonds" in all different sizes & colors that started with the one she got from G'ma Kola last year...daddy keeps buying them for her). The one she brought me is her biggest one; it's pink. She put it behind her back & said she couldn't wait until my birthday to give me the present she picked from "her stuff". I told her I didn't feel right taking her big, beautiful diamond so I asked her if we could share it. She said "sure" so we are keeping it in my room for now. What a sweet girl she is!
She also wants another hamster so that Jessie won't be alone. "Mom, Jessie needs a family".
COLTON
For the most part Colton deals with being grounded pretty well, except for the weekends. As the weeks have gone by he has been better about it all...he spends alot of time in his room, sleeping or playing with his ferrett. He even sometimes ventures upstairs to hang out with us or just to bug us (in typical Colton fashion). He has been doing better with his school work (although his idea & my idea of "better" are very different); I have to give him kudos for what he is getting done compared to what he was getting done...although he is still behind in most of his classes. We have even discussed him possibly repeating 8th grade...he doesn't get as angry as he did but I know that socially it would be devastating for him.
We are really just trying to get through this school year before we make any final decisions about holding him back, changing schools or possibly even having him go to a "live in" school where he can get more one on one...it's heartbreaking to think about & would be a last resort for all of us.
He continues to be a loving kid...he has the biggest heart and he still loves to give hugs and will even tell me "I love you" when I drop him off at school or talk to him on the phone. He will even say it in front of his friends! He is a good kid with lots of issues (ADHD, ODD, etc) & he is definately a challenge. One minute we enjoy him & the next he drives us up the wall! We do find our selves laughing at him alot though because he thinks he has all the answers all the time (what teenager doesn't think this right?).
TYLER
Where to start??? Tyler is in the last few months of his high school years & 2 months away from turning 18 years old! Tyler has always been a pretty good kid...decent grades, great in sports & for the most part respectful. We have given our kids alot of freedom over the years, especially as they get older & so it's hard to know if we gave them "too much" freedom & not enough discipline or if it's just normal at this age to act out a bit.
Somewhere in the past 4 months he has changed alot (although he would strongly disagree). He started hanging with different friends, missing classes & doing some other things he shouldn't be doing. We realize that at this age there is alot going on...graduating, applying to college, trying to figure out "who you are" & what you want to do in life...BUT...it's difficult to watch him go through this & wonder if we should have done things differently.
Tyler hasn't ever really had a regular job, he has had a few here & there but for whatever reason they don't last long. We have always paid for everything including his car, his insurance, his gas, etc. Our kids have been receiving a weekly allowance for years now but they contribute nothing as far as household chores...they don't even do a good job of keeping their rooms/bathroom/basement/living area clean. They don't clean up after themselves very well; they don't do their own laundry nor do they know how. They can cook for themselves if they absolutely have to; but they don't like to; and will always choose fast food over making themselves something good to eat.
I have no doubt that Tyler will come out on top...he is famous for it...but I still worry. He wants to be an adult & is trying to find his way there but he doesn't want to take any responsibility for himself or for his choices. The consequences (for some recent choices) we have put in place over the past few days...he is pretty upset about them...but he is awful at communication with us so he won't even come talk to us about what can be done to earn privelages back. He is so frustrating sometimes! We love him so much & it breaks my heart that his last few month of high school & at home seem to be going so poorly...before we know it he will be gone. It's too late to change the past but we are trying to prepare him for the future...I hope someday he will realize that.
ONE LAST GRIPE: There are people in Tyler's life who have not been around much; no where near as much as they should have been; nor did they ever seem to care about Tyler & how their absence/lack of contact would ultimately affect him. Where do people get the idea that they can "pop" back in to his life after all this time & that makes everything ok? I am speaking as a mother who is worried about her son getting hurt...again. I hope that people are really true in their efforts at this point in Tyler's life...if not, he is better off without you...hard truth!
Okay, enough for now...just wanted to get these thoughts down today.
TESSA
Me: "How come I love you so much?" Tessa: "Cause I'm a cutie pie"
Yep...I guess that says it all!
She is excited for me to have my birthday this week...so sweet. She went into her room last night & brought me one of her "diamonds" (she has a big collection of fake "diamonds" in all different sizes & colors that started with the one she got from G'ma Kola last year...daddy keeps buying them for her). The one she brought me is her biggest one; it's pink. She put it behind her back & said she couldn't wait until my birthday to give me the present she picked from "her stuff". I told her I didn't feel right taking her big, beautiful diamond so I asked her if we could share it. She said "sure" so we are keeping it in my room for now. What a sweet girl she is!
She also wants another hamster so that Jessie won't be alone. "Mom, Jessie needs a family".
COLTON
For the most part Colton deals with being grounded pretty well, except for the weekends. As the weeks have gone by he has been better about it all...he spends alot of time in his room, sleeping or playing with his ferrett. He even sometimes ventures upstairs to hang out with us or just to bug us (in typical Colton fashion). He has been doing better with his school work (although his idea & my idea of "better" are very different); I have to give him kudos for what he is getting done compared to what he was getting done...although he is still behind in most of his classes. We have even discussed him possibly repeating 8th grade...he doesn't get as angry as he did but I know that socially it would be devastating for him.
We are really just trying to get through this school year before we make any final decisions about holding him back, changing schools or possibly even having him go to a "live in" school where he can get more one on one...it's heartbreaking to think about & would be a last resort for all of us.
He continues to be a loving kid...he has the biggest heart and he still loves to give hugs and will even tell me "I love you" when I drop him off at school or talk to him on the phone. He will even say it in front of his friends! He is a good kid with lots of issues (ADHD, ODD, etc) & he is definately a challenge. One minute we enjoy him & the next he drives us up the wall! We do find our selves laughing at him alot though because he thinks he has all the answers all the time (what teenager doesn't think this right?).
TYLER
Where to start??? Tyler is in the last few months of his high school years & 2 months away from turning 18 years old! Tyler has always been a pretty good kid...decent grades, great in sports & for the most part respectful. We have given our kids alot of freedom over the years, especially as they get older & so it's hard to know if we gave them "too much" freedom & not enough discipline or if it's just normal at this age to act out a bit.
Somewhere in the past 4 months he has changed alot (although he would strongly disagree). He started hanging with different friends, missing classes & doing some other things he shouldn't be doing. We realize that at this age there is alot going on...graduating, applying to college, trying to figure out "who you are" & what you want to do in life...BUT...it's difficult to watch him go through this & wonder if we should have done things differently.
Tyler hasn't ever really had a regular job, he has had a few here & there but for whatever reason they don't last long. We have always paid for everything including his car, his insurance, his gas, etc. Our kids have been receiving a weekly allowance for years now but they contribute nothing as far as household chores...they don't even do a good job of keeping their rooms/bathroom/basement/living area clean. They don't clean up after themselves very well; they don't do their own laundry nor do they know how. They can cook for themselves if they absolutely have to; but they don't like to; and will always choose fast food over making themselves something good to eat.
I have no doubt that Tyler will come out on top...he is famous for it...but I still worry. He wants to be an adult & is trying to find his way there but he doesn't want to take any responsibility for himself or for his choices. The consequences (for some recent choices) we have put in place over the past few days...he is pretty upset about them...but he is awful at communication with us so he won't even come talk to us about what can be done to earn privelages back. He is so frustrating sometimes! We love him so much & it breaks my heart that his last few month of high school & at home seem to be going so poorly...before we know it he will be gone. It's too late to change the past but we are trying to prepare him for the future...I hope someday he will realize that.
ONE LAST GRIPE: There are people in Tyler's life who have not been around much; no where near as much as they should have been; nor did they ever seem to care about Tyler & how their absence/lack of contact would ultimately affect him. Where do people get the idea that they can "pop" back in to his life after all this time & that makes everything ok? I am speaking as a mother who is worried about her son getting hurt...again. I hope that people are really true in their efforts at this point in Tyler's life...if not, he is better off without you...hard truth!
Okay, enough for now...just wanted to get these thoughts down today.
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