-99 lbs lost, 11 lbs to go to hit my goal!
I am sick and tired of wallowing in the misery that I have created! It's time for an attitude adjustment or an ass kickin'...whatever works!
I have a few good prospects for jobs. I am hopeful that when the time is right, the right position will open up for me. I have to believe there is a reason it hasn't happened yet and I'm pretty sure I know what the reason is...my kids.
The intention of me quitting my job in the first place was to be able to concentrate on the kids. The summer was fairly uneventful, just busy. Now that school has started again, it's been kicked up a notch or two and I know this is where I need to be right now. The frustration lies with knowing that I also need to contribute to our family's financial situation...what a position to be in! Kids...job...kids...job...what to do? Again, I have to believe that where I am right now is where I am supposed to be and that when it's the right time, the right job will be available to me.
So, I am staying positive, doing my chakra cleansing, reading "The Secret", and trying to apply all the tools I have learned into my life right now. The Universe is listening and will bring me what I need...yes it's true, it will happen.
I had my 8 month follow up with my WLS doctor on Tuesday. He had nothing but good things to say about my progress. After we talked for a while and I told him why I thought I should have reached my goal by now he told me to quit being so hard on myself! Wow, that's one I've never heard before...LOL! He says I should be able to hit my goal by my year mark (I plan to hit it before then, even though the weight loss has slowed down).
This WL journey has not been easy and is still not easy. I am and always have been a stress and emotional eater. Since I am always stressed (or so it seems), I always want to eat and learning how to address the real issues is tough. I also crave sweets...it seems my sweet tooth has not magically disappeared so I have to be careful about making smart food choices. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't and I do my best not to beat myself up over the bad choices.
There is just so much going on in my head these days and I am really working on focusing on what is most important...that's all I can do. Life goes on whether I am happy or sad and I have to choose to be happy each day or I just make myself more miserable.
Love to you all...
9/18/08
9/7/08
More changes...
96 lbs lost; 14 lbs to go to hit my goal!!
So, this thing where I quit my job at the end of May and have been home with the kids just isn't working out like we thought it would. The economy being what it is and Rio's work being slow means that financially we are not doing well...so I will have to go back to work. I don't mind working; I get alot of satisfaction from working; but since my kids just started back to school...this is when I really need to be home; especially to help Colton stay on track with homework and such. I was really looking forward to making some positive changes but it's so difficult to ensure changes take place when I am back at work full time.
I am frustrated, heartsick and overwhelmed! I have so much on my plate right now in addition to trying to find a job. I am on the PTSA at the high school and the middle school. I am the volunteer coordinator at the middle school and that in itself is like a full time job! I run kids to football practices and games, dance lessons, playdates, to and from school, Dr. appointments...it's never ending! I can't do any of these things when I am working (been there, done that)!
Even Rio is depressed by our financial situation and he never gets depressed! We are both really struggling and it's very difficult for me to make it through each day right now. That may sound melodramatic but there is just so much going on right now and I can barely keep it all straight!
Okay, enough of my whining...here are a few updates from the past month...
Tyler started his senior year!!!!! He is playing football and recently traveled to Ohio with the team for a game (we won) where he had some fabulous catches for ALOT of yards! He is in Madrigals this year and will sing the National Anthem with them at the Homecoming game in a few weeks and by himself in an upcoming talent competition at school. His girlfriend just started at UVU (yes she's a year older) and they talk alot but since Tyler never tells me anything I have no idea if they are actually still "together" or not...LOL!
Colton started 8th grade and is playing football too. This is his 4th year playing in the Ute Conference league for the Jordan district. He practices 3 days a week and games are every Saturday...alot of football this time of year! He has already had to go to detention once for disobeying a teacher...*sigh*...he is the main reason I need to be at home. He tells me he doesn't have homework when he does, he already has assignments he hasn't handed in. If I could, I would go to school with him just to help keep him focused and organized! I love this kid but he is definatly my challenge in life!
Tessa; my baby; started Kindergarten this past week. The week prior to starting she had a one on one with her new teacher for some testing to be done. The teacher called me in afterwards and said that she understood that Tessa had just barely turned 5 and asked me if we had considered holding her back and having her start K next year. That caught me off guard...Tessa's pre-school teacher never said she was struggling but her K teacher, after 10 minutes with her, was telling me that she didn't know enough of her alphabet or her sounds and that she would most likely struggle to keep up with the class; especially because she is so much younger than some of them. So I went home in tears wondering what to do. I talked to anyone and everyone who would listen and I agonized over what to do. Ultimately we decided to go ahead and have her start K and see how she does. I already worried that she would have learning disabilities like Colton and I really don't want her to be at a disadvantage because she just turned 5...but for this to come up a few days before she was to start K...it was too much! We will see how she does and hope that she does not struggle. She is another reason I would like to continue to stay home...to spend some extra time with her, teaching her, helping her stay on top of the things she is learning in class...this becomes difficult if I am working!
Tessa also seems to be having some seperation anxiety the past few days. The first day of K she got right in line and went into class like no big deal. The second day she started to cry and was really hesitant to go. The third day she didn't cry but kind of clung to me, not wanting to go in. She was really hesitant to be away from me this weekend too (she slept at my brothers one night)...hopefully she will be excited for school tomorrow.
Rio is in out riding this weekend with some friends. I miss him terribly but I have been so extremely busy the past few weeks that it seems we don't have much time together anyway. I look forward to him coming home tomorrow.
My neice, Malena, was born just over 2 weeks ago and she is such a beautiful little angel. I was present for her birth (it's always so amazing) and when I get extremely stressed I go over to my brother and sister in laws house and just hold her and look at her and it helps me calm down. She is so sweet and calm...I just love her!
We have also been canning this past week...exhausting! It's rewarding but my oh my it is so time consuming. This is the first year we have had a garden and done the canning thing...last weekend we canned for 2 days straight...it makes for long days!
During all these hectic and stressful times I have not been taking care of myself very well. I make bad food choices quite often and I'm not drinking anywhere near the amount of water that I should be or getting enought sleep which means that the last 20 lbs is not coming off very quickly. I really want to start back to the gym tomorrow now that Tessa is in school...cross your fingers for me to actually get there...LOL! :-)
Okay enought of my rambling...thanks for checking up on me! Love ya!!!!
So, this thing where I quit my job at the end of May and have been home with the kids just isn't working out like we thought it would. The economy being what it is and Rio's work being slow means that financially we are not doing well...so I will have to go back to work. I don't mind working; I get alot of satisfaction from working; but since my kids just started back to school...this is when I really need to be home; especially to help Colton stay on track with homework and such. I was really looking forward to making some positive changes but it's so difficult to ensure changes take place when I am back at work full time.
I am frustrated, heartsick and overwhelmed! I have so much on my plate right now in addition to trying to find a job. I am on the PTSA at the high school and the middle school. I am the volunteer coordinator at the middle school and that in itself is like a full time job! I run kids to football practices and games, dance lessons, playdates, to and from school, Dr. appointments...it's never ending! I can't do any of these things when I am working (been there, done that)!
Even Rio is depressed by our financial situation and he never gets depressed! We are both really struggling and it's very difficult for me to make it through each day right now. That may sound melodramatic but there is just so much going on right now and I can barely keep it all straight!
Okay, enough of my whining...here are a few updates from the past month...
Tyler started his senior year!!!!! He is playing football and recently traveled to Ohio with the team for a game (we won) where he had some fabulous catches for ALOT of yards! He is in Madrigals this year and will sing the National Anthem with them at the Homecoming game in a few weeks and by himself in an upcoming talent competition at school. His girlfriend just started at UVU (yes she's a year older) and they talk alot but since Tyler never tells me anything I have no idea if they are actually still "together" or not...LOL!
Colton started 8th grade and is playing football too. This is his 4th year playing in the Ute Conference league for the Jordan district. He practices 3 days a week and games are every Saturday...alot of football this time of year! He has already had to go to detention once for disobeying a teacher...*sigh*...he is the main reason I need to be at home. He tells me he doesn't have homework when he does, he already has assignments he hasn't handed in. If I could, I would go to school with him just to help keep him focused and organized! I love this kid but he is definatly my challenge in life!
Tessa; my baby; started Kindergarten this past week. The week prior to starting she had a one on one with her new teacher for some testing to be done. The teacher called me in afterwards and said that she understood that Tessa had just barely turned 5 and asked me if we had considered holding her back and having her start K next year. That caught me off guard...Tessa's pre-school teacher never said she was struggling but her K teacher, after 10 minutes with her, was telling me that she didn't know enough of her alphabet or her sounds and that she would most likely struggle to keep up with the class; especially because she is so much younger than some of them. So I went home in tears wondering what to do. I talked to anyone and everyone who would listen and I agonized over what to do. Ultimately we decided to go ahead and have her start K and see how she does. I already worried that she would have learning disabilities like Colton and I really don't want her to be at a disadvantage because she just turned 5...but for this to come up a few days before she was to start K...it was too much! We will see how she does and hope that she does not struggle. She is another reason I would like to continue to stay home...to spend some extra time with her, teaching her, helping her stay on top of the things she is learning in class...this becomes difficult if I am working!
Tessa also seems to be having some seperation anxiety the past few days. The first day of K she got right in line and went into class like no big deal. The second day she started to cry and was really hesitant to go. The third day she didn't cry but kind of clung to me, not wanting to go in. She was really hesitant to be away from me this weekend too (she slept at my brothers one night)...hopefully she will be excited for school tomorrow.
Rio is in out riding this weekend with some friends. I miss him terribly but I have been so extremely busy the past few weeks that it seems we don't have much time together anyway. I look forward to him coming home tomorrow.
My neice, Malena, was born just over 2 weeks ago and she is such a beautiful little angel. I was present for her birth (it's always so amazing) and when I get extremely stressed I go over to my brother and sister in laws house and just hold her and look at her and it helps me calm down. She is so sweet and calm...I just love her!
We have also been canning this past week...exhausting! It's rewarding but my oh my it is so time consuming. This is the first year we have had a garden and done the canning thing...last weekend we canned for 2 days straight...it makes for long days!
During all these hectic and stressful times I have not been taking care of myself very well. I make bad food choices quite often and I'm not drinking anywhere near the amount of water that I should be or getting enought sleep which means that the last 20 lbs is not coming off very quickly. I really want to start back to the gym tomorrow now that Tessa is in school...cross your fingers for me to actually get there...LOL! :-)
Okay enought of my rambling...thanks for checking up on me! Love ya!!!!
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