A little back history (this may be TMI for some so be warned)...
I had my tubes tied on August 12, 2003, the same day Tessa was born. I knew I was done having children (Tessa was a HUGE surprise) AND I was having a C-Section due to high blood pressure and toxemia so it was easy to get them tied at that time.
I suffered from AWFUL, very painful, very heavy periods in the years after my tubes had been tied. I had never had problems with periods before. My periods previous to having my tubes tied had always been normal, same time every month, not too heavy, they didn't lay me up like they do to some
women. So having them change so drastically was very difficult for me.
In November 2007 I had an Endometrial Ablation, here is the definition...
Endometrial ablation is a procedure that uses a lighted viewing instrument (hysteroscope) and other instruments to destroy (ablate) the uterine lining, or endometrium. The endometrium heals by scarring, which usually reduces or prevents uterine bleeding.I have not had a period since having this procedure done, which has been a relief. My body still has "cycles", I just don't have to deal with periods, cramping, headaches, etc.In October 2009, I had extreme pain in my pelvis on the right side. It felt alot like period cramps for a few days and then went away. About a week later it came back. I was concerned so I went to Instacare thinking I had a Urinary Tract Infection (although to my knowledge I have never had one before). I was told that I had the cleanest urine they had ever seen...LOL. They recommended I see my Gynecologist, which was what I already planned on doing. I had researched my symptoms online so I knew there were many things it could be.
I called my GYN who set me up to have a pelvic ultrasound. The ultrasound results showed a small mass next to my right ovary, origin unknown. They said it could be any number of things, a fibroid, a dermoid, uterine lining, etc. They recommended I give it 8-12 weeks and then have another ultrasound to see if it had cleared up on it's own.
I had another ultrasound on Februrary 2, 2009. The results showed that the mass was still there although it was a little bit smaller than previously, origin still unknown. The recommendation was that I have an MRI to determine what it was. Of course this is fairly common in alot of women and doesn't necessarily mean cancer but they couldn't say for sure that it wasn't the big "C" so I scheduled an MRI.
I had an MRI on February 24, 2010. The report showed that once they administered the contrast, the tumor "lit up", meaning it was vascular. They still could not say whether it was benign or cancerous or where it came from. The Radiologist recommended waiting 6-8 months then having another MRI but because I have pain in that area every few weeks my GYN recommended that I see a Gynecological Oncologist. This scared me, I worked for Oncologists way back in the day and I saw alot of very sick people with cancer coming in to get chemo each week. I had maintained a sense of calm about all of this but now I was scared.
On March 10, 2010 I saw the GYN Oncologist, Dr. Z. She spent a lot of time with me, reviewed the MRI results, did a thorough exam and then proceeded to tell me that although there were many things it could be, most of them benign, she couldn't say with 100% certainty that it wasn't cancer. She basically left the decision up to me...wait a few months, watch it and see what happens or go in laposcopically with a camera and find out what it is. I am not comfortable leaving it there, not knowing what it is.
If they go in and determine it's cancer, they will remove everything, a complete hysterectomy. If they go in and determine that it's benign, they will remove only what they need to in order to get it out. Depending on what it's attached they could end up removing just an overy, or possibley and overy and my uterus...they just don't know until they get in there.
Since I am under 40 (barely) they prefer to leave the ovaries in place if they can. Hormone Replacement Therapy can be brutal so they don't want to remove ovaries unless they absolutely have to.
I decided I want them to go in and find out what it is and take it out. A few hitches...I have a trip to Mexico scheduled in April (free trip! more on that later) and since I have never been there, never really been anywhere, I really want to go. Dr Z said we can do it after I get back. I am scheduled for surgery on April 29th. I won't know the outcome until AFTER it's all done which is pretty scary. That also makes it hard to plan for time off from work since if I have a complete hystorectomy I will need 4-6 weeks off. I also found out that during open enrollment at work, I neglected to sign up for Short Term Disability (you have to pay for it now?!?) so I won't be able to take STD which means my time off will be unpaid...NOT GOOD when we are already struggling just to live these days!
Which leads me to second thoughts...since we can't afford for me to take 6 weeks off unpaid, do I just put it off, watch it over the next 6-8 months and hope it's not cancer? What if it is and it spreads in 6-8 months??? So many thoughts, so many decisions! I am crazy busy at work, what happens if I have to take 4-6 weeks off, will I lose my job? My health should be the most important thing but because of our constant struggles, it can't be...YIKES!
I am scared, confused, upset, ticked off...so many emotions surrounding this. But if I wait and it's cancer and it compromises my health or even leads to death, where does that leave my family? What to do, what to do...
For now, I am scheduled for April 29th...if that changes I will let you know. Why does it have to be this difficult? Why do I have to choose between my health and supporting my family. It's overwhelming, frustrating and scary!
Margo, Anna, Brenda, Megan, Brooke
