Starting to feel better...

Lost 2 more lbs, 76 lbs to go!

I am finally starting to feel a little better, getting over my cold, although I'm still not getting my exercise in each day. I purchased a pedometer that I wear on the waist of my pants each day to keep track of how many steps I take, how many calories I burn and how far I walk. I try to get up and walk around quite a bit at work when I have a few minutes...which a few minutes can be difficult to find most days! I average about 1.5 miles per day; which is good; but I would like to be walking at least a mile a day just on my treadmill. I'm thinking of joining the gym and going there a few nights a week right after work.

I've decided that I really wish I enjoyed cooking...I get bored eating so much of the same things all the time. I have found so many wonderful recipes for post WLS (weight loss surgery) patients but I just don't enjoy preparing them! I'm not creative enough to come up with things on my own...sad, but true! I had the best of intentions to start cooking every night for my family...healthy meals that we can all eat...so far my track record leaves alot to be desired...kind of like my track record with my treadmill!!

So many emotions come in the aftermath of this surgery. I mourn food every single day...all the things I can't eat or won't ever eat again! Sometimes I want to stuff my face with all the things I miss...the only thing that keeps me from doing it is the fact that I would get so ill if I did!

I miss Diet Dr. Pepper, Frozen Vanilla Lattes, coffee w/ sugar and creamer, cake with buttercream frosting, ice cream, potatoes, pasta, cookies, candy, bread, donuts, etc, etc, etc...

• Did I make a mistake? I don't think so but it's a struggle every single day!
• Do I regret having surgery? Not usually but sometimes yes.
• Will it all be worth it in the end? I believe it will!!!

One struggle I'm having right now is not smoking. I miss it terribly. It was those times during the day that I took breaks at work with my friends; now it's harder to keep up with them because I don't see or talk to them as much. It was those times at home when I would read; now I don't get nearly as much reading in each day. Driving, sitting around with friends and chatting...Stupid reasons to smoke but it's almost like I am mourning my old daily routines as well as the food I can't eat. It makes for some difficult and emotional times... :-(

I am working on being more optimistic and positive...difficult things for me. I realize things can't change overnight but I know that I have the power to be as happy as I want to be...I just need to DO IT!

Tomorrow is another day...