Getting personal...

I'm going to get a little more personal on my blog by talking more about me and my life and my family and not just about my weight loss journey.

I posted my 2 week follow up picture today...you can't really see alot of difference in the pre and post surgery photos even though I had lost 20 lbs. I need a new photographer because I look AWFUL in both pictures!

I HATE having my picture taken and I really haven't let anyone take pictures of me for years! Besides...I'm always the one taking the pictures of my family, etc. But I really do need to take a picture every few weeks so in a year I can look back and see my progress!

I have been taking appetite suppressants the past 2 days to help curb my intense hunger. They are pretty mild but they do help a little. I was up late last night and I didn't get up this morning to walk on the treadmill so I'll have to double up tomorrow morning or at least do double this weekend.

I'm reading a book right now called "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Now"...it's about deciding what you do and don't want out of life and visualizing it and making it happen. This is along the same lines as the Experience Training that Rio and I attended in December. I need to work harder at getting in touch with my positive energy to help get me where I want to be. I am not a very creative person so visualizing is really difficult for me. There are some aspects of life that I haven't figured out what I want yet (work!). I desire to do work that I love but I just don't know what that is right now...pretty sad when you're 36 and don't know what you want for a career.

I do know that I want to be a good mother and wife. My husband loves me so unconditionally; which even 15 years later is hard for me to accept sometimes because I know I'm hard to live with! Rio is the most wonderful caring, loving, giving person I have ever known in my life and I love him dearly.

I know that I have failed my children in alot of ways and if I could do it all over again I'd do it differently (doesn't every parent say that?). I have failed to teach my children to work for and earn the things they want/need; instead I have given them everything they want so that they do not appreciate what they have! They are good kids, but they don't have respect for our home or their possessions because everything has been handed to them.

My wonderful friend Michelle (who lost 100 lbs all on her own!) came by last night. She is the person that got Rio and I to attend the Experience Training. As she and I were catching up she made a good point to "remember at the end of the day to think about the things you are grateful for". Sometimes I forget that and I need to get better at being grateful instead of focusing on the negative things.

So, today I am grateful for all the support I have received and am still receiving from family, friends, co-workers and all the people on the RMAP website who help answer questions and assure me that this journey does get easier!

Live in the NOW!