Updates...

118 lbs lost; 8 lbs UNDER goal weight! Stress will do that to ya! I used to EAT, EAT, EAT when I was stressed...now I have learned not to. The flip side is that I am not eating as well as I should nor getting enough water in. I have been sick alot lately so my body is definately not happy with me...but I just keep plugging along!

I am way behind...so much going on the past few months that I haven't even known where to start as far as updates. I will try to keep it short.

We lost our house (crappy economy / long story) but I pretty much see it as a blessing in disguise; a chance to start over. Anyone who knows us knows that we HATED the house we lived for the past 8 1/2 years. It's a long story how we came to be there but the reason we stayed was for our kids and we really do love the area. They boys were getting older and wanted to attend the middle school/high school with their friends...so we stayed. The house was VERY old and although we did some renovations over the years we could never get it completely done and the parts we would get done would end up having problems (water leak) and we would have to tear them out. It was a disaster and I am glad to be out of there.

The downside...we are currently living with my sister and her husband (the downside being that they have to put up with us!). We are so thankful to them for letting us crash there. Since the boys are both in SG it's just me, Rio & Tessa. My sis has a very nice large room in her basement that we share. It's big enough for a bed, dressers, TV, computer desk, etc. and has a nice large closet. It's working out fine and I hope we aren't too much of a burden on them. They are so kind to take us in until we can find a place of our own again.

Tessa started 1st grade in September. Week nights are hectic! Monday = soccer games. Tuesday = dance class. Wednesday = gymnastics. Friday = soccer practice. Weekends usually entail at least one sleep over! Just one kid at home right now and I can barely keep up! All the weeknight stuff takes place after working all day so it can make for long days! She is still our sweet girl and she keeps us smiling!

Colton is doing well in SG. He likes the high school and has made friends. He still misses us and his friends up here of course but he is learning alot down there. He is working hard to complete his community service (125 hours by Dec 1st - sentance was given on 8/26/09). My mom keeps him on his toes...he is getting better at chores; helping around the house; completing his homework; cleaning up after himself; being responsible, etc. He is still our big hearted, loving, stubborn Colton! He visited for a weekend recently and I didn't see him much but that's ok. He had a nice time with his friends. Rio has been down to SG quite a bit for work so he sees him alot. I hope to be able to visit down there soon.

Tyler...where to start...moved to Hawaii at the end of July; found out it was too late to register for school; decided to come back so he could attend Dixie State. After a NIGHTMARE experience trying to get him a flight home he started school a few days late so they had dropped his classes. He got that straightened out and has been living with my mom also (poor Brenda has her hands full)! He visited a few weekeends in a row up here in SLC and I could tell he wasn't doing well. He NEVER talks to us about anything so it's hard to know what's up with him most of the time. He commented that he didn't like Dixie and as I dug harder I discovered that he felt he didn't fit in anywhere. Because of some past history with him, genetics and some other factors I finally convinced him to see a Dr. in SG because I suspected his depression was worse than we knew. The doctor diagnosed him as Bi-Polar, Type 2 (emotional depression) and started him on medication. It's only been a few weeks & he doesn't spend much time at my mom's so it's hard to know if anything is improving. In the meantime we hadn't been able to pay his tuition or work on getting any type of financial aid or loans so his classes got dropped. He is due in court this week to receive his sentance for the "stolen ring" incident earlier this year. We are extremely worried about him. Rio actually went to spend some time in SG this week to see if we can help get him headed in the right direction. He is actually back at Dixie State now taking 2 classes so that he will still qualify for his (small) scholarship for next semester. I imagine he will be sentanced to ALOT of community service hours and on top of that we have been encouraging him to get a job. This is a tough time in a person's life and we are trying to support him while encouraging him to be more responsible and learn to take care of himself and not rely on us so much. His diagnosis makes it difficult because we don't know as much about it as we need to; I have been doing some research though. But Tyler won't go to counseling either which I think would help alot. It's frustrating and sad and breaks my heart to see my children suffering!

I want to "fix" everything for everyone and I can't and it KILLS me!

So much going on this past year or so; so many emotions; so many ups & downs (more downs than ups!). It's a roller coaster ride and I am hanging on for dear life!

I try to stay positive but it's not easy. Some days I wonder what I did to deserve all the CRAP - if I knew what I had done or who I had offended I would apologize and make it right. Other days I am somewhat at peace knowing that everything happens for a reason and I am where I am supposed to be. Easier said than done most days!

BUT...I love my family, I have the BEST husband in the world and he loves me and that's all that matters. We WILL get through this and move forward...there is no other option!