Weight Loss...

I started this blog as a way to track my weight loss journey & it has turned into more of a "journal" for me...which is a good thing. I really do treat it like a journal & I write whatever I am feeling at the moment or about things going on in my life & with my family.

I figured I would go back to some basics about my weight loss surgery & how far I have come because some days; even though I know I have achieved something great; I have a hard time concentrating on what I have achieved. I tend to focus on the things that I still want to change about my body...I believe I am what is referred to as a "pessimist"! haha

I had Weight Loss Surgery (Gastric Bypass) on Jan. 7, 2008. This surgery reduces your stomach to about the size of a fist & re-routes your intestines. I am 5'8" tall & I weighed 260 lbs on the day of my surgery. My BMI (Body Mass Index) was 39.5. I wore a size 22/24 pants & most of the time a size 26/28 shirt although I tended to wear REALLY baggy things to cover up the fat...like that really helped! I was the fattest I had ever been on the day I had WLS.

I was not overweight as a child or adolescent; infact I was very active. I ran track, danced, did drill team, etc. up thru my first year of college. I put on weight; like a lot of us do; starting in my 20's after having my first child, getting divorced & then re-married, getting comfortable, eating what I wanted, not exercising and having 2 more children and eating, eating, eating.

Due to my weight gain I had back problems, high blood pressure, sleep apnea & acid reflux...I had taken prescriptions for all of these things for years & had a CPAP machine for breathing while I slept. All of those have gone away since my surgery...except the lower back pain (I had 2 bulging discs & had surgery in 2003) & that may never go away...bad genes I guess!

I am a worrier; I stress alot & I became a stress eater...although I have gotten better the past few years at managing my stress. I also have a sweet tooth that was out of control! I drank Diet Dr. Pepper & ate candy all day long!

My goal was to lose 110 lbs in a year; my goal weight was 150 lbs; a good weight for my height; a weight I had not seen for about 15 years or so. I reached my goal in 11 months & contrary to what some may think...it was not "easy". The surgery, the smaller stomach, the food restrictions, the head hunger...it was tough...it's still tough most days but it's worth it! I am now in the "maintenance" phase. I tend to stay right at about -113 lbs lost...which is a few under my goal weight...I can live with that.

One thing I have a hard time with is "the SAG". I've watched ALOT of shows over the years about WLS & people who have lost large amounts of weight rapidly...your skin obviously does not shrink so there is some SAG. My stomach is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, although it's definately not pretty...LOL! I do have the "bat wings" or what some call "relief society arms" that probably don't look as bad as I think they do. My legs have some sag, it's worse on my upper legs than on my calves. I have no butt anymore...the little bit I do have...you guessed it...it SAGS!

I never had much in the "rack" department...infact as I gained weight I didn't want to look like a "pear" so I started wearing "enhancements" (or what we like to call chicken breasts) in my bra to even out my figure. As I have lost weight I have continued to wear my "enhancements" so that some people have asked if I have had a boob job (I wish). My face shows more wrinkles because there is no fat to fill it out...so while I am skinnier now I feel like I look older in my face.

I look pretty "OK" with clothes on...it's my naked self that I have issues with...LOL. There are things that clothes can hide & there are support garments that can be a girls best friend! Are we EVER happy with our body? I was actually more comfortable wearing a swimming suit when I had fat to fill it out...now I hesitate to even put one one (I don't currently even own one) because the loose skin jiggles when I move...not a pretty sight! Most of the time I will wear my bra; with my enhancements in it; under my swimming suit so that no one can tell how flat chested I really am! I have worn swimming suits that have the "skirt" on the bottom for YEARS and when/if I purchase one this year I will still buy one with a skirt...to help cover a little bit of the sag...when I walk I can look down and see the skin on my legs just flapping about...not pretty!

Some day I want to have plastic surgery if/when I can afford it. The Dr's recommend you hit your goal first and then maintain the weight loss for a while...18-24 months after WLS; they don't recommend plastic surgery before that time. I used to think all I wanted was a tummy tuck...I can always pad my bra to appear sufficient in that area...but I have now decided that I could benefit from a lower body lift & a boob job! LOL!!

BUT...WLS is the best thing I ever did for myself. I feel better than I have in many, many years! I have more energy, I don't get tired walking up & down the stairs to the laundry room. I can bend over to tie my shoes instead of putting one foot up on the other leg to tie them sideways because my huge belly isn't in the way anymore.

I am not 100 degrees warmer than other people all the time...I never wore sweaters in the winter because I was always hot; summer was hard for me. I had a fan in my bathroom for YEARS; sitting on the counter or the back of the toilet seat; because when I would get ready for work my face would sweat making it hard to put my makeup on or do my hair.

I am now a size 6/8 and wear medium sized shirts. I can shop at stores that I haven't been able to shop at in years...my feet even shrunk 1/2 size! This is an ongoing journey but I have much to be proud of & I need to remember that!

The Dr.'s want WLS patients to start walking & eventually exercising on a regular basis after surgery. It helps with the bloating from surgery, the weight loss & eventually helps tone you up. I did ok in the beginning but I couldn't figure out why they couldn't implant a love of exercise at the time of surgery! For as active as I was in my younger days I have discovered that; just like when I was fat; I still don't enjoy exercise. I envy people that do it for fun or just because they love it. Finding the time for it has always been an issue...I've been told to "make time" and that is easier said than done. I started back to the gym a few months ago only to sprain my ankle really bad as I was leaving the gym on the 2nd day! My ankle still gives me a hard time...I probably should go to the Dr to have it looked at. WLS patients have mal-absorption issues & we take certain vitamins for the rest of our lives. Who knows...maybe we don't heal as well from things like sprained ankles or maybe I did more than sprain it!

At this point I have figured out that I can't complain about not exercising and/or toning up if I don't take the time do it...it's obviously not important enough to me right now or I would do it...although I have been thinking about it more and more lately...time will tell if I get it done I guess.

One thing that I don't like is that I seem to have issues with my memory; I have heard that alot from other WLS patients on the support sites. My brain seems to feel "fuzzy" alot. I used to have a photographic memory & I was very organized all the time...that seems to have changed somewhat & it's frustrating. But...I never had any other health issues due to the surgery; like some people do; and for that I am extremely grateful!

All in all I am happy with where I am. I do sometimes eat things I shouldn't but I try not to kick myself over it. I still don't eat many carbs...no bread, rice, pasta, etc. I stick to the proteins & vegetables as much as I can. I don't like to cook...never have...so I make do with small protein filled things or I make a batch of chili or chicken enchilada soup & I eat them for weeks at a time (food is fuel, not entertainment). I still don't love to drink water; even when it's flavored with Propel & I drink too many blended coffees (my daily treats & a "no no"...we aren't supposed to drink our calories & caffeine stimulates hunger). I will eat a few Peanut Butter M&M's here & there...not too many or it makes me nauseous. I sometimes have popcorn or a bite of chocolate but for the most part my eating is not out of control like it was before WLS. I NEVER want to be that fat again!

I am no where near perfect in this journey but I can live with what I have acheived so far. I just need to remember each day that I have succeeded & hope that it stays that way & that I don't go back to old habits & gain the weight back.

So...there is it...in a very long nutshell! Thank you & goodnight! :-)