Being home...

79 lbs lost, 31 lbs to go to hit my goal!

I got a scathing email from my friend Pattie today (ok, it wasn't really scathing...lol) telling me that she keeps checking this site for updates and wondering why I haven't posted updates since I have more free time now a days...now that's funny (and I know Pattie knows I don't have more free time these days...haha)! Unfortunately I don't have any updated full body pictures right now. I will try to remember to have someone take some soon.

Tessa and I had some pictures taken the other day at the Target portrait studio. You can go to this link https://www.thesmilestation.com/home.asp?AC=LTTT0889103293TAR to view them. When the page opens up, under Guest Name type in Lisa Bremer. Some of these pictures are of Tessa and her best friend Eve (they look alot alike). Eve's mom works at Target photo studio so she did these pictures for us. I don't particularly like the pictures of me because you can see every little crack, line and crevice in my face but I did order some of them since Tessa and I have never had our pictures taken by ourselves before.

Being home is tough! I thought I would have all the time in the world to exercise and whip my kids into shape...not so much! I'm lucky to get in one workout a week and the kids are still walking all over me! "Baby steps...baby steps...baby steps"! I have to keep reminding myself that changes don't always happen overnight. I had to make an appointment with the life coach last week just to get a better feel for what the hell I'm doing (or want to be doing). Poor Kim (lifecoach) has to keep reminding me that I'm a good person, a good mother, a good wife and that I am too hard on myself (I know...I know...aren't we all?).

I am struggling with some depression with the changes in my daily routine. It's harder to stay away from the food when I'm home with it all day. I don't always make the best choices but I'm doing ok and I try not to beat myself up about it. I must be having some PMS this week because all I want to do is sleep and cry! I love being a hormonal woman!!!! :-)

I keep having to step back and ask myself why I expect myself to be perfect? I've been in counseling numerous times over the years and I know that NO ONE is perfect; least of all me. For some reason in the back of my head I had this idea that I wasn't really acknowledging that said that all the things I wanted to accomplish when I quit working would be completed in the first few days and then my life would be perfect...didn't happen (of course)! I try every day to remind myself that I am making progress every day and that I am accomplishing something everyday but it's hard to sell myself on these things sometimes!

My kids are a huge issue for me right now; especially the boys. They are older and kind of set in their ways (our fault) and trying to tell them "No" when I've always said "Yes" is very difficult for me. I don't want my kids to hate me so I give in...I always have...and in the process I have crippled them in so many ways....UGH!!!

Anyway, I'm a little emotional right now so I will sign off for now. Thanks to all my friends, family and loved ones for their support. I love you all!